One of the many doubts that breastfeeding mothers have is whether they produce enough milk.
As long as you have avoided formula feedings and have maintained exclusive breastfeeding, it is very unlikely that you are simply "out of milk".
If, however, you think you are really running out of milk, you are probably feeling your baby very irritable, crying, fighting with your breast, latching on to let go just after a couple of minutes, not sleeping well, arching their back, stretching their legs, getting distracted by everything, and behaving strangely.
Additionally, you may feel your breasts soft, not as full as you used to feel them, and this situation is probably occurring at around 3 weeks, one month and a half and/or three months of age.
In short, you are not running out of milk, breastfeeding, remember the golden rule: "If there is suction, there is production". What is happening is having a growth spurt.
What is a growth spurt?
Growth spurts are moments during breastfeeding that usually occur with some periodicity, where the baby's "strange" behavior responds to the biological need to improve the composition and increase the volume of milk that your body produces, in order to continue their development.
Not because the current milk is not good, but your baby's body needs to improve the quality and volume to keep up with the expected growth rate, and growth spurts are your baby's way of "asking" your body for it. Once your body registers the change and makes the composition/volume modification, you will return to your normal breastfeeding patterns.
The flare-ups usually last for up to one week, it could be a little more, or a little less. The periodicity with which the outbreaks occur may vary from baby to baby, but they usually occur at 3, 6, 9 weeks, 3, and 6 months of age.
The form of presentation in all cases is an erratic behavior of the baby, taking the breast more often for less time. In addition to the 3 and 6 months outbreaks, the infant has a more advanced cognitive development, with more awake senses, making them more distracted. In addition, they are able to accomplish more quickly what they previously struggled to do.
What is crucial in these growth spurts is that you arm yourself with all the patience you can muster and don't give in to the temptation of formula feeding, as it can end up having a negative impact on your milk production. Don't panic if your breasts feel soft, as you continue to breastfeed, your body will "pick up the pace," so to speak, and your breasts will be able to prepare the milk for when the baby needs it by triggering milk ejection within minutes of suckling.
And how true is it that the baby only plays with the breast, and no longer needs it?
Reducing all the magic of your involvement as a mom of a young baby or child to just a pacifier or bottle is absurd. Trust your instincts as a mom and read the correct information.
Your child falls asleep on your chest? Not only it is not wrong, but it is logical, first because if baby has free access to your breast it is something that will happen: your baby is hungry, sucks your breast, satisfies his hunger, relaxes to feel close to mom whom they know by her smell, her characteristic warmth, and if we add to this a lullaby, arms full of love and a rhythmic rocking movement, sleeping at the breast is safe.
In addition, breast milk contains an amino acid called "L-Tryptophan" that helps babies fall asleep, as well as "melatonin", a hormone that helps establish the cycles of wakefulness and sleep. Studies have even shown that it is at night when the peaks of these substances occur, precisely to help the baby fall asleep faster than during the day (one of the many reasons why many mothers decide to breastfeed).
This period will not last forever, and in general, all children mature their psyche over time, looking for their space and individuality, but while they are babies and/or toddlers mom fulfills a function that goes beyond being food: mom generates the secure attachment, which, curiously, in the future will give them enough confidence to be more independent.
Why does my baby suddenly seem more upset and unwilling to be separated from me, and even at night they wake up anxious?
Different factors may be going on, and it is essential that before getting anxious or listening to other people's opinions, you analyze specifically what is happening or if there were changes in your baby's routine, and of course, if there are any issues related to their health, consult with your pediatrician.
However, there is an event that generally occurs around the 8th month that many moms identify when the baby's attitude changes and has been called "Separation Distress."
From 4 to 8 months approximately, babies develop object permanence, a term studied by Piaget, psychologist, and child development scholar. Before this age, the baby feels part of mom, they do not see themselves as individuals, and that is why from these months if they do not perceive objects or people nearby, in this case, their attachment figure, it is as if they do not exist, hence the beginning of separation anxiety.
At this stage, babies are more aware of their environment and begin to take their first steps, as part of their psychomotor evolutionary process, opening the option to explore more and seek to experience new sensations, being aware that they are not attached to mom. All these changes are the first steps that will lead them to acquire an awareness of self, as an individual different from mom, dad, and others close in their circle. This self-recognition is expected to culminate by around 2 years of age.
However, for the baby to establish this whole process of evolution and independence, the concept of "secure attachment" is fundamental. In addition to the nutritional benefits, breastfeeding establishes the basic natural and instinctive principles of this attachment by forming this affective bond and consolidating it through breastfeeding. Carried with love and security, the other bonds with attachment figures are established and babies manage to establish hierarchies to identify their preferences, with their mother almost always being the main figure.
Paradoxically, if the baby feels secure attachment, they will be more confident in exploring and experiencing new things. Joining the ideas of previous lines, around the 8th month is when the infant, aware of their environment, is able to identify the absence of their attachment figure and demand their return, and it is precisely to the extent that this can be reaffirmed lovingly and reliably that the baby will have the necessary tools to continue their process of self-discovery.
What can I do to survive this phase?
- Take baby with you. As much as possible, and more so during this first stage, try to include him in your activities and make him feel close to you. We know it can be tiring, but it is not something that will last and in the long run, it will be the pillar of trust that your baby will need to develop his confidence in future relationships.
- Identify and lean on his network of attachment figures. If it is impossible for you to be near him, try to identify your baby's attachment figures and lean on them, so that you can temporarily replace the time you are not with him and try to make sure it is someone with whom he has an emotional bond.
- Be clear in your goodbyes and your returns. Don't disappear from your baby's sight without saying anything to him, that will only increase his distress. Remember that he is in the process of understanding the environment, when you leave be clear with him and say goodbye, when you return, let him know that you arrived, this will allow him to understand that there are times when mom must leave but she will return.
- Anticipate. Prepare him before the moment of separation with affectionate signs, even talking to him about what will happens next.
Do not make abrupt changes in the daily routine or change caregivers frequently (e.g., nannies).
- Develop their hearing as well as their vision. Babies are often overly visual, if he can't see you his distress skyrockets. Get him used to hearing you to locate you nearby, talk to him if you are out of his field of vision, so that he recognizes your voice and can calm down.
- Learn to interpret and respond to his needs and be present for him. Effectively, promptly and affectionately, it makes them feel connected and protected especially in times of emotional need, which creates feelings of security and a base on which they can feel safe to explore the world.